How the Song "This Is Me" Sparked My Soul

If you're like everyone else across the United States and other countries, you've seen the movie "The Greatest Showman." This movie is the story of B.T. Barnum and how he started his circus. The story is so fantastic that every time I see it, I burst out in tears from how much I love it. The soundtrack is part of what makes this movie so amazing.

One song on the soundtrack is titled "This Is Me" performed by the super talented Keala Steele. The anthem has won multiple awards and is one that everyone relates to. Even before I saw the movie, this song spoke to me. It continues to until this day, really.

Earlier this last week, I was listening to this soundtrack while making a quick Walmart run in the rain while feeling a bit under the weather, and the next thing I know I am bawling in my truck while driving down the road to how much these words are speaking to me. The song is about how to feel confident in your skin and all your differences (another song that does this is "Strong" from the Lightning Thief Soundtrack).

Recently, I've been having some struggles with what I'm really wanting to do with my life in regards to my career. I'm wanting to go and do whatever it takes to use my degree (and about to be my second degree come August), but I also have this sense of wanting to continue to be the homebody that I am. I'm wanting to take advantage of all the opportunities presented to me without feeling like I'm leaving a part of myself behind or regretting taking my life by the reins. There is so much going on in regards to "do I want to continue doing this or do I want to take charge of my life?" I don't know if I quite have the answers yet.

I love agriculture and I love how that I've pursued that through my Bachelor's at Tennessee Tech in Ag Ed and Animal Science and through almost being finished with my Masters at Tennessee State University. I love teaching. I love Extension. I also am loving teaching my students online through VIPKid. I love teaching people about self-care through Perfectly Posh and BeCause. I love sharing my skin care techniques with people. I love decorating my planner and taking cute pictures of it. I love writing. I love reading. I love adventuring. I love writing. I love attending concerts. I love music. I love church.

I love my life, but I don't think it's quite the life I want to be living because of feeling, once again, like whatever I do has to make others happy.

Let that sink in.

I'm trying to determine what I am willing to stand up for and conquer in my life. Do I want to go after these job opportunities? Do I want to get another degree? What do I want to go back to school for? What do I want to do? Answering these questions is hard. Answering these questions while not even being sure how to even afford them is harder. I do know that I am taking it one step at a time. I can apply for jobs, I can interview for jobs, then I can decide if they're the right thing for me. I can talk to colleges and programs and see if they're the right fit for me at the moment. I can reevaluate my priorities and determine what I want for myself.

I can determine what my "This Is Me" moment is. I have control over my life (with guidance from the man upstairs, too). I can stay true to myself and my goals while going through this. There is no straight path through life. There's a lot of turns, potholes, detours, and even road closures at times. Nevertheless, I have to remember who I am along the way.

So, who am I? I am a first generation college student who completed a double major in four years. I am a first generation college student about to complete a graduate degree in August. I am someone who has a passion for showing people the importance of learning and finding the thing they are passionate about. I have a passion for teaching others about agriculture, extension, and Jesus. I am someone who has a pet pig named Einstein and dreams of moving to Hawaii with her to have a pineapple plantation. I am someone who loves reading in her hammock when the weather is nice. I am someone who at the age of 23 still has no clue 100% what she wants out of her life but is figuring it out one day at a time.

Y'all. We don't have to have it all figured out -- even though that's what the world wants us to believe. I've recently been asked why that I have so many "jobs." Well, truth is, I'm dabbling in everything I enjoy. I substitute teach because of my love of teaching; I work at 4-H camp because of my love of serving others and working in the Cooperative Extension Service; I work for VIPKid because I love seeing that light bulb moment when something clicks; I sell Perfectly Posh and educate others about skin care because I know what it's like to be at your lowest and not want to get up and do something for yourself; I sell BeCause Cosmetics because I want to educate women how that they should know what they are putting on their skin. Do you see the trend? I also didn't mention my love of volunteering and being active in several organizations. All of this makes up who I am but doesn't completely define who I am either.

Listen to me when I say this -- I went to school with the intention of following one career path but then doors and opportunities have opened themselves up that I don't even know where to begin except one day at a time. I choose to find one thing every day that makes me happy. I choose to find time every day to read a minimum of two chapters out of whatever a current read of mine is. I choose every day to reach out to those who are important to me and let them know I care. I choose every day to find some sort of adventure -- even if it is trying to figure out where I last placed something. My life is too short to dwell completely upon finding one thing to pursue. I want to learn and experience it all.

And, I think, that defines who I, Molly, am.

Let me ask again, who am I? I am Molly. I am someone who is still trying to figure out 100% what that means, and it's okay. Why? Because I am confident enough in myself that I can follow whatever paths because they'll always lead me back home and no experiences that I have along the way will be wasted. I know I'll shed a lot tears, give a lot of smiles, and take a lot of pictures along the way, and I can't wait to see what happens. In the mean time, I'll keep y'all updated along the journey.